lessons from my "leftover" flowers
tiny ways to lighten your own heart and make the world a kinder place
dear friends,
On the windowsill in front of my writing desk, I keep a vase where I put the extra flowers that are “left over” from what I arrange for the more public rooms in our apartment, the rooms that are “for company.” The flowers that end up here are what florists would call filler. They’re generally tiny, even a little scruffy. And yet, over time, I’ve fallen in love with these leftovers. This vase in front of my desk never looks like anything that would be displayed in the window of a flower shop or on the table of a chic event. But there is a happiness to it. A joy that is far grander than the size or elegance of the buds.
And I’m finding a lesson: do underestimate the power of tiny good things.
I’m prone to thinking that any challenge, whether internal (depression, professional setbacks, family struggles) or external (voting rights, the rule of law, political division) requires a well-thought-through, grand plan. And there absolutely is a place for big action, but I’m discovering that if all I can do is small, doing that can have a very big impact.
So, this week I’m taking a lesson from the flowers, and honoring the tiny small things I can do.
(1) Send a friendly text to someone (every day or every week, whatever suits). I started with people that I know who are going through a tough time, then moved on to people I’d like to thank because they have been kind to me. I make it a short text that does not require a response. Just a note to say I’m thinking of them and am grateful that they are in my life. This is not a beautifully handwritten letter or a thoughtful gift. It’s a tiny act, but it is an act of gratitude, kindness, and connection. I hope that it brings some happiness to the person I send it to. I know that it never fails to make me feel a little better about my own burdens and the state of the world.
(2) Make a habit of doing all the little things that make for a good human. Hold the door, say please and thank you, apologize when you should, wait your turn, don’t be rude. It doesn’t matter what religion you grew up in, what political party you support, we all know the difference between being a good human and not being a good human. I know there are voices out there saying that “they” don’t deserve it, but this isn’t about the kind of people “they” are, it’s about the kind of person I want to be. So, yes, I high-fived a person on Peloton the other day whose hashtag was a political statement I fundamentally disagreed with. Why? Because even though that person chose to pass on a message that showed that they distinguished between the people deserving and not deserving of human decency, I did not have to respond in the same way.
(3) Include yourself in the tiny acts of kindness. Life is tough right now. Don’t be a martyr. Treat yourself with all the gentleness, kindness, and love that you would a dear friend. Snuggle under the covers for an extra five minutes, eat the cookie, take the scenic route home. After years of not living this way, what I’m learning is that when you make it a habit to be kind to yourself it is a #@$%! of a lot easier to be kind to others. So, if you are the type of person who won’t be kind to yourself for your own sake, please be kind to yourself for our sakes.
That’s it for this week!
with love, as always,
alison